Many people look at marriage as a goal to meet. I'm sure we all have heard things like "Oh when we get married things will be better". If only that was the case. Marriage is more like a starting line of a race than a finish line.
After getting married many transitions happen in order to have a happy and successful marriage. In class we made lists of these transitions for the first month and the first year.
First Month
- Combining Schedules
- Defining Roles
- Setting Boundaries with Family and Friends
- Sharing everything
- Sharing a Bed/Room
- How to talk about important issues
First Year
- Finances
- Schooling
- Habits/Rituals
- Pressure from Family and Friends
- The "Baby Decision"
- Coping with Disagreements
This list was just a few things that newly married couples have to cope with. When couples experience these struggles they are real and frustrating. Sometimes it is easy to think that if a couple cohabited before marriage it would be easier transition for these types of struggles, but studies have shown that cohabiting actually creates the opposite. Brother Williams used an analogy to explain why. In life people all have their own line. When a couple gets married their two lines join. They now share everything. When a couple only moves in together they are still separate lines. They are parallel lines but still separate. They may share some things like a bed and living space, but for the most part he still has his stuff and she still has her stuff. Even after couples that got married after cohabiting still had the mindset of cohabiting.
Marriage is such a special thing because it is the best way to join two separate lives into one.
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